1. |
The First Of Many Lasts
00:51
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...all the same mistakes
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2. |
MPHL
05:01
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I’ve got thinning hair and rotting teeth
I kept all the insults you gave to me
I kept all the conversations that we didn’t have
Staying up all night
Lurking in a mirror
Haunted by a fridge
They say life goes on but I peaked so long ago
I don’t want to die someday but i’m gonna die someday
I don't want to die someday, and I hope that day, it’s not today
My back muscles are deteriorating
My gums are sore
My clothes are hanging off my bony shoulders
And there’s blood on the apple core
these coffee stained fingers and carrot pigmentation
Make up this distorted complexion
I'm caressing the roof of my mouth
while mumbling my incessant doubts about who you are and what I am myself
My age old frothing cynicism it holds me back from any meaning
I hanging on my collar bone as I awkwardly wait to talk to you
Sway side to side and i fall in love with a state of mind
And i don’t want to die, but I'm gonna die
I don’t wanna die
I’ve got all this time
And I've spent it falling apart
I’ve got all my life to figure out what i want
And isn’t that right? the (w)right way to live?
To question what to do at 22, and to think you’re gonna die like you’re 85
It never seems to change
And i wish that felt okay
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3. |
Pale Ale
05:59
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You broke down my door while my roommate was puking
There was beer on your breath and you said
That you wanted a dream that i had just a couple of times
I was scared and afraid and a little excited
My heart sank down and you slipped on the floor
We went up to my room and you took off the clothes
I left for a minute and you put on a jazz song
We started making out and then we fell asleep
And when I woke up to kissing
I said wouldn’t try to
try to find a way where i’d ever be too close
“I wanna make eggs with you”
That’s what she said, yeah
“I wanna make breakfast, not a baby in bed”
That’s what she said
And now i see you in Case
And i still get the fuzzies
But I get why you wanted to stop
It was probably a good idea
I mean you’re graduating this year
But sometimes I think what if it happened earlier?
What if it happened now?
What if I moved to the city? What if I moved down the street?
Would you have me over for toast and tea?
What if I moved down to Philly? What if I moved down the street?
Would you have me over for toast and tea?
You know I’m just afraid
I want to shave my head
I stared in the mirror before I went to bed
I tumbled down the street at 3 am cursing every little thing that i know that i am
And i cried for the first time in a fucking year
After trying every day for a fucking year
I threw the pills against the wall
And I promised that the album be out by fall
And then I promised that it’d be here in the spring
I also promised myself not another fling
And i promised the nicks i’d get what i deserve
but now the love in my life,
is just for her
And if you see me in case and you still get the fuzzies
I hope you get why i wanted to stop
I mean it was probably a good idea
I mean I'm graduating this year
But sometimes I think what if it happened earlier?
Why did it happen now?
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4. |
Lull
05:39
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...In a lull
I’ve found I’m fairly nervous
Let down under the surface
Too much to think about now
I said, “I know it’s my fault”
But we know I’m just avoiding the
Calling me out
Waking up in the center of Allston
I think there’s a flea crawling in my ear
Five streets from the city of Boston
It’s unclear what I fear
But I know that I’m scared
That everything is off
When everything seems fine
My letters trailing on
But these words they don’t seem mine
I’ve found I’ve drowned in drought
Buried in the damp leaves
The soil bed will soothe
My eyes glance towards the sky
As I feel disdain slip away
Waking up in the middle of North Woods
I feel there’s a tick latching on my thigh
Five trees from a place where I could call home
But i know it’s unknown now
And everything is off
When everything seems fine
My letters trailing on
But these words they don’t seem mine
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5. |
The Same Mistakes
01:53
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Numb again, Falling short of falling when you ducked your head across the bar
You know I've only got a night and i haven’t gotten farther than the basement
And i’m in my mental state and
I’m dissociating in the dining hall to get away from your faces,
(The faces of disappointment)
I’m done with my mistakes and
(I’m done with your mistakes again)
I’m gonna learn just how to love again
(what a disappointed boy)
(Yeah i made my mistakes)
I know it’s wrong I know it’s wrong
(My mistakes were mine to make back then)
but i’ll find it again
(what a disappointed boy)
In a regress
I’ll find it again
(what a disappointed boy)
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6. |
Urn
03:54
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I set you on display,
and much to my dismay
Your hands and arms became pictures on a pot
My darling, I'm forgetting you’re a person not a painting
She gushes in a line written by a boy whos swine
But now I’ve seen the face
Mulling over wasted time of my life
Constructing an opus,
So i could remember the feelings in letters I wrote
when i meant them
Perpetuating style that expired years ago
In a poorly written write up
Conceived in a bedroom studio
It’s not helping anyone at all
I’m not helping anyone at all
What do you want?
What do you need?
Why do i need to always do what I do?
I know I’m talking silly but what’d you say about me?
I heard you talkin’ to the league, now what’d you say about me?
What do you want?
What do you need?
I heard you talking to the league
What’d you say about me?
What can I do
To get us through
You carve it on a wall
I’ll sing it in my song
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7. |
Furrow
05:52
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cuddled up in the common room
our eyes droop in the dust of the morning bloom
will any words i speak work to overwrite
this harried time?
Smash a hand on the table just to reassociate
grabs my thigh and i say that i'm okay
i wrap a limb around and apologize
The pressure from your chin cut my lips from the inside out
I want you to hurt me so i don’t hurt myself
Composing little themes in lieu of lying down
I thought i was something, but i might be something else
Im impressed by everything
Every little thing that you say and think
But some things don’t feel right
And now i feel all alone
We’ll talk on the phone for an hour or two
And i think about visiting you on an hour drive away
while i furrow inside
The tremble in your voice hugged my throat from the inside out
I said what i'm thinking, but now
my mouth is soaked with doubt
Im writing little tunes in lieu of lying down
Before i can know you i need to know myself
I’m not usually like this
I guess these days i am
And after all the excitement
I can never seem to plan
Just what comes next
Or what i want
Or what i need
Do I need anything at all?
Can I keep myself from asking
Brendan Why
Are you acting out again?
Did you think it’d be different than the last times?
Brendan Why
Are you acting out again?
Did you think it’d be different?
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8. |
Alstroemeria
06:41
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Defensive, and all about pensive
Obsessive, through antithetical thought
it says a lot
But i didn’t deserve the talk
I heard what was needed
But it’s hard to feel that
Cuz’ it’s been repeated
By shoes that leave clumps in the grass
Alstroemeria blooming through my chest
Attenuated fields never get their rest
I want it, i need it
I told you i shouldn’t
I know that it's dangerous,
Self centered conflicted illusively static saccadic eyed addict
Dug under subsoil
Conniving these stems of sophistry
I want to know what I need
I Discern it all, a story far from perfect with
Agricultural verbs and nouns and prefix
I’ll go away and I’ll heed the words
the ones that only i should make
I heard what you said,
but i know what you mean
so i feel what you want to see happen to me
Alstroemeria blooming through my chest
Attenuated fields never get their rest
I deserve much more
I deserve much more than this
I deserve to say i’m sorry for the things i'm sorry for
I deserve to trust myself again someday
I deserve much more
I deserve much more than this
I deserve to care for myself without the eyes
Alstroemeria blooming through my chest
Attenuated fields never get their rest
I want it, i need it
You told me i shouldn’t
I know that you’re dangerous,
Self centered conflicted illusively static saccadic eyed addict
Dug under subsoil
Conniving these stems of sophistry
I think it’s time that i try to leave
I know it’s right that i try to leave
Please know I’m right that i’m gonna leave
I think i know just what i need
You know I’m just afraid
I went and shaved my head
I stared in the mirror before I went to bed
I tumbled down the street at 3 am cursing every little song that i wrote back then
And i’ll try for the first time in a fucking year
After trying every day for a fucking year
I threw the pills into my mouth
And I promised they could know me without all the doubts
like I promised i’d be better back in the spring
I also promised myself i’d be happy
And i promised myself i’d get what i deserve
But now the friends in my life aren’t friends I’ve heard
And now Disassociating in the dining hall to get away from your faces
The faces of disappointment
I’m done with my mistakes again
I wanna learn just how to love again
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9. |
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I took the floor with testament
Completing tasks with so called friend
Who wrung me out for years on end
But thats on me
Compelled to know that phone’s attack
Nmeuntic pain shoots up my back
Singing songs upon concern
My guarding tore again
Oh no, it’s all back again
I know it’s not for nothing
Compartmentalizing
‘Right’ from good intention
Discharging apprehension
towards dishing of a sentence
A way to serve my penance
An eye for an eye,
at least that’s how i saw it
I know you say i'm heinous
But please i tried the hardest
Religious allision
Evaluate decisions
I know are not for nothing
please see I’m feeling something
If the court would appease
Just please
Can you just leave me alone?
Can you just leave me alone now?
A crescent shape next to the name
And planting peeps inside the brain
Of everybody's fraught distaste
When no one gives a shit
I waxed the floor with snot and flem
Completing tasks for so called friend
Who walked on me for years on end
Is it all on me?
To hear the tales of my mishaps
The sciatic pain shooting up the back
Pleadling lines of fake concern
This silence broke again
Oh no, it’s all back again
I know it’s not for nothing
Compartmentalizing
‘Right’ from good intention
Discharging apprehension
towards dishing of a sentence
A way to serve my penance
An eye for an eye,
at least that’s how i saw it
I know you say i'm heinous
But please i tried the hardest
Religious allsion
Evaluate decisions
I know are not for nothing
please see I’m feeling something
If the court would appease
Just please
Can you just leave me alone?
Can you just leave me alone now?
(I know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know)
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10. |
Devoid
02:13
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You know I’m just afraid
I went and shaved my head
I stared in the mirror before I went to bed
I tumbled down the street at 3 am cursing every little song that i wrote back then
And i’ll try for the first time in a fucking year
After trying every day for a fucking year
I threw the pills into my mouth
And I promised they could know me without all the doubts
like I promised i’d be better back in the spring
I also promised myself i’d be happy
And i promised myself i’d get what i deserve
But now the friends in my life aren’t friends I’ve heard
And now Disassociating in the dining hall to get away from your faces
The faces of disappointment
I’m done with my mistakes again
I wanna learn just how to love again
Im writing little tunes in lieu of accepting doubt
With a wired jaw
Shut tight with disdain
In the stare of your presence i have no name
I have no place
To have this face and
All the words i had i've been erasing
with thinning hair and rotting teeth
I see all the insults that you give to me and
I got the considerations, do you wanna talk?
And so i’ll die today(i deserve much more )
I don't want to die today (cuz I deserve much more than this)
But i’ll die someday
In a lull
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11. |
Brooksvale Park
03:36
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And everybody’s freaking out about some sort of disease
While i figure out 19 means in which to get to you
A tuesday to think
A wednesday to breathe
A thursday to cough
I don’t know what to talk about
But it helps to talk about anything with you
And I just want to see you
I got a call from you that the venue that you hung around had closed down
Now I’m afraid you won’t be back to town
Even though i know you better now
We could forget about
The quirky laugh on the phone from 1 to 4
It’s when i told you that i hurt myself before
You told me that you’re just “kissing another homie”
More than anything I want you just to hold me
On the grass of Brooksvale Park
Where no one quite knows where we are
I shiver, quake as I quell these doubts
My stomach churns as I’m screaming out
I love, i love, i love you i do
I love, i love you
And I just want to see you.
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Tiberius Wright Boston, Massachusetts
The Projects and Writing of Brendan Wright...
allston, ma
saratoga springs, ny
rutland, vt
insta:
@tiberiuswright
Tiberius Wright recommends:
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